I Do What I Do Not Want To Do

Note: I encourage you to take the time to read Romans 7:7-25 today. I stumbled across this passage this week, as it was the next Scripture for the online Bible study I'm a part of, and it couldn't have been better timing. This is truth: the truth about me, the truth about you, the truth about humanity. But it is also the truth about Jesus. The truth about the hope that is available for both me and you. For all of humanity.

As I read these verses, I wrote and God spoke. These are the exact notes from my Quiet Time notebook this morning. This is my struggle. This is my hope. I felt led to share this with you. I hope it is of some impact and encouragement to you today:

"For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it." (Romans 7:19-20).

The sin living in me, the sinful nature of the flesh, is bringing me to death spiritually. It is because of my sinful nature that I cannot carry out the desire I have to do good. And this truth, laid out in this Scripture, could not have come to me at a better time this week.

All week (actually, this entire summer) I've been struggling. I want to keep the Lord first and I desire to spend time with Him in prayer and in His Word. I desire to journal and reflect on His faithfulness. Yet, I don't do these things like I should. I wake up to checking my Facebook for an hour or two and then finally head over to spending fifteen or twenty minutes in prayer. I know I should spend time in His Word yet I spend an excessive amount of time on social media throughout the day, scrolling mindlessly despite that I know (and desire) to put God first. Finally, I spend some time in His Word for ten minutes or so, usually at 1:30 am. This has become frequent. My life has been losing routine. I'm not spending enough time with God and I am definitely not putting Him first. I haven't journaled about His faithfulness (despite that I've been wanting to for months). I'm going to bed way too late and sleeping in way too much. I desire routine. I desire for the Lord to be first in my life. Yet I give into the flesh. I give into the sinful nature and do what I do not want to do.

"For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." (Romans 7:15b)

So is there a solution?

"For in my inner being I delight in God's law, but I see another law at work in the members of my body..." (Romans 7:22-23a)

The sinful nature is at work, and I do what I do not want to do. I may delight in God's law, but the flesh is working against me, and too often, I let the flesh win. I struggle in my sin. But this is why Jesus came. We are all destined to eventually let the sinful nature win. We are all in need of a Savior; none of us are righteous in the sight of God by our own doing. But Jesus won when He died and defeated the grave. I may do what I do not want to do, but HE has won--and I can live not only with salvation and new life, but in His grace, which is fully sufficient to cover my sins.

When I'm struggling in my sin, when I feel like I can never do what I want to do and that I always end up failing because of the sinful nature at work within me----
there is victory awaiting.

We are all going to fail, but that's why Jesus died. He rescued me, saved me, and means it when He says: "My grace is sufficient for you..." (2 Cor. 12:9)

So I'm giving my struggle to Him. I'm taking breaks from Facebook and restricting my time on social media. I'm seeking to put Him first.

But I know that no matter how much I fail (which I'm sure to do), no matter how much I do what I do not want to do, His grace is sufficient for my sins.

And that's enough.

"Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Romans 7:24-25a).


  1. Thank you, Alyssa!! Your schedule uncannily reflects my life right now...I'm not doing Bible study but instead wasting my time on sleeping and other stuff! Thank you for this post--it was exactly what I needed! :)


    1. Wow, I am so glad to hear that! I know exactly what you mean. Thank you so much for your comment and for visiting!! I'm praying for you tonight.


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