Shadows

We’re born into the longing

With hearts, bent toward possessing

All that our eyes are seeing

Our souls, they never stop wanting

Beauty never intended to be more than a reflection

...

My heart is an ocean raging

And Your grace is all that keeps me from drowning

My mind creates deceptions

So I cling the treasure sinking

....

Oh, Lord, light up my dark eyes

Teach me to let go

I’ve been runnin’

Chasing nothing but shadows

Oh, Lord, please come and

Raise my dead heart, let me know

You can keep me from

Chasing after the shadows

All that I run to, all that I cling to

Everything seems to only slip through my hands

All that I run to, all that I cling to

Everything seems to only slip through my hands

But I keep running, I keep chasing

Left holding on to only the after glow

Lord, light up my eyes, let me follow You

To the source behind all the shadows

 ...

"Shadows"//Tenth Avenue North

 With a heart filled with passion and longing, I seek to run. My intentions are to chase after the heart of Jesus, but in the midst of mess, heartbreak, and stress, where do I turn? In the act of redemption and salvation, my life has been made new, my sins covered by the blood of Jesus. My sinful nature never leaves though. I'm covered by His grace, but even through His unfailing love that fills my life every day, I run, and run, and run some more. Sometimes I am stuck in the shadows, chasing after the temporal things of the world, the approval of others, an identity that can never be filled except in a life lived for Jesus. When I learned to run after the heart of Jesus, I gained a wholeness, a missing piece to the puzzle, about life that I never had before.
  When we gave our lives to Christ, He knew that we would mess up, that we would fall away, that we would give into the flesh. We are human. We look at what we see, the earthly things, rather than we can't see, the heavenly perspective. Our souls continuously desire. But what God has revealed to me recently, especially through the words of Tenth Avenue North's song, is that no matter what I want, receive, or chase after, nothing will matter in the end except Jesus. Eventually the world and everything in it will fade away, and then what will be left? Shadows are nothing but temporary reflections of God's creations, dependent on the circumstance of light. Why chase after the fading things of this world when we can chase after the only One who is eternal, the "source behind all the shadows"?
   I've sought after worldly identities and possessions, but as I've been facing these struggles despite my yearning to chase after Jesus, God popped this song straight in my head. I used to listen at a time when this struggle all began, but never did I realize its significance until now. I may be the editor of the yearbook staff. I may work all day for the animals or even for the church. I may get a million likes on a Facebook post or on this blog. I may gain every relationship & friendship I've ever wished for. But in the end, these things will just slip through my hands.

The only thing that matters is Jesus, and I'm learning to follow His light, not a reflection of the world's.